“What are my duties?” I asked. “Exquisite beauty and absolute obedience”
What do I know for sure about myself? I’m 24. I was born in September of 86. Good year I’m told. Fairly boring. I was born in Germany (Army brat)
I am an islander. Now when I say islander, that could be many places I suppose. But only ONE place of all of those islands out there matters. Guam. I am a chamorita girl. My friends find it amusing to call me Tropical. (Occasionally my friend Tye finds it amusing to call me a churro, rather than Chamorro) I’m from Guam. My family is from Tamuning.
I love music. When I say love, it is an understatement. It is an intense passion of mine. I would be happy listening to music all day long and doing nothing else. I took vocal training for 13 years or so.. I used to do concerts and sing for people all the time. Not so much anymore.. I would like to change that. I miss singing greatly. It calms me, and makes me feel whole. I feel the emotion in most songs, and I’m very eclectic on my tastes, they range anywhere from classical to metal. I think that it’s more I enjoy -good- music, not one particular style etc. I like rocking out to Tool, NIN, Soilwork, Mudvayne, Pearl Jam, Nirvana etc. But I love to sit back to some jazz and just complete zone out with Nina Simone, Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Art Blakely, John Coltrane.. I also really love to dance so anything that can get me up and dancing is fantastic – however I can dance to nearly anything. I love the thrive and pulse of latin and ethnic style music. I enjoy the intelligence and intricacy of classical music. Music is my soul for the most part.
Rock is Passion. Metal is Lust. Jazz is escape. R&B is freedom.
I love the ocean. The look of it. The smell. The feel of raw energy, power and passion. The ocean is unpredictable. Never the same, always changing, yet always steady and strong. So much strength, and so much raw force. The ocean has the ability to be the most intensely terrifying chaotic disaster ever.. But at the same time, can seem so serene. So calm. So completely in control.
I love to dance. It is very free-ing. Is that really a word? ‘freeing’ Hrmpf. I suppose it is, I’m not getting a spell check. Anyway – I love to dance. I love the beat, the movement, the way you can lose yourself while you do it.
I am a hopeless romantic. I love foggy misty nights with opera music. I like hand holding while walking on the beach at sunset. I like candles, chocolate, roses and moonlight.
I am a complete sucker for beautiful voices. You could be completely disgusting, but if your voice is beautiful, I will probably worship you.
I love lyrics, poetry, quotes, words. I think words are beautiful, especially when composed properly. So much can be said when words are placed together right. I am always scribbling down quotes or phrases I hear people say and saving them. One day I’ll share with people I think. Maybe I could make a silly book.
I am addicted to art. Colours, movement, composition. I love art. I would paint all day if I had the choice. Paint and listen to music.
On the topic of art, I also love photography. I do photography. Weddings, portraits, nature, ocean, fashion. I do it all. Mainly because I find beauty everywhere, in everything. Even in the most depressing situations, I will find beauty somehow. It’s a bit odd, but it is true.
To me, communication is vital. I travel often due to work, and I am busy. I work hard, and I work a lot. I am intelligent and honest, to the point of being brutal, but I do know how to use tact. I am strong and very determined. If you aren’t someone who is willing to communicate or able to discuss what you want from me openly without inhibition, please, don’t bother messaging me. I loathe people who try to create something but cannot communicate their needs or desires, or let things go unsaid because they are either embarrassed or unsure of themselves or how they want things to progress or happen.
To describe myself? I’m stubborn as a mule, but soft as a warm butter. I fall in love easily, but I guard myself and my heart with an incredibly thick wall. I am an artist, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a lover. I am painfully shy when you first meet me, but after I’ve gotten past that initial meeting, I’m crazy. I love my friends, my family, and those close to me more than anything, and I would do everything for them. I am nerdy! I play video games and program stuff. I’m a bit of a push-over but I have a spine of steel when necessary. If I don’t want to be pushed someplace, you won’t get me there, no matter how hard you shove/yank/pull. I’m quirky. I love to smile, and I love to laugh even more. I enjoy life as much as I can, and I am a huge promoter of spontaneous acts. I’m impulsive, and headstrong – not always a good thing. I do everything I can to live life without regrets. I make plenty of mistakes and I’m sure I will make more, but I figure as long as I learn from them, it’s not something I should worry or fuss about. Life is so incredibly short; I can’t imagine wasting my spirit on things that are so meaningless. I have a brutal temper, but it’s incredibly hard to push me to it. I’ve worked very hard to learn to control that temper, and you’ve got some work cut out for you if you want to set it off. I’m not a fan of ignorance or close minded fools. Nor am I a fan of a hypocrite. I do pretty well at keeping those things out of my life. I am passionate. When I find something I want, I usually get it. I work hard, ridiculously hard.
I have things to do, things to prove, to myself and to others. I have high and lofty dreams & hopes. I am going to change the world someday. Somehow. I haven’t quite figured out how yet, but I will.
People ask me all of the time “What are you into?” Sarcastically I tend to answer, “Hockey, F1 racing, music, art, photography, rainstorms, thunder, cooking, painting, colour, dance, running, hiking, gaming, kittens, random moments, printing, books, sandwiches, martial arts, summer days, leaves falling in autumn, good coffee, dessert wines, baking, singing… . . The list continues.
“When she’s abandoned her moral center and teachings…when she’s cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…..enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking everything I dish out to her…..at that moment she is never more beautiful to me.” -MDS.
